knock knock 'who's there?' 'just open the door'

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Kittens.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

The doctor comes out of the room and tells the new parents that there is good news and bad news. The couple says they want to hear the bad news first. The doctor says "your baby is black." The couple then ask "what is the good news?", the doctor replies "your baby is dead."

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Knock Knock Come in, the door's open.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Homosexual babies? It's a choice

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Kid: Teacher, what do you hate more than supervising people in detention sessions at this school? Teacher: I am a vegan. Hence meat is relatively dispicable and I abhor it in general.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A man is driving home from work. he realizes he left his suitcase back at the office. he turns around and drives back to the office. he walks in the office and grabs his suitcase, and as he's walking out he's stopped by his boss. his boss simply asks "what are you doing in the office at this time, Eric?" the man replies to his boss " sorry sir i was just grabbing my suitcase as i forgot to bring it as i was leaving work" his boss lets him pass " okay Eric, have a good night" the man get back in his car and drives home. but on his way home a pedestrian runs in front of the road. the man runs him over unintentionly. the man is jailed with manslaughter for 4 and a half years

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What did the tourist in Africa get? A souvenior.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

what do you call a black guy in a cop car a cop

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the little boy cry? His entire family was shot and killed at his elementary school play.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +32

women's lacrosse.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did the man say to his son? Hello, son.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

So two muffins are in an oven. They get baked.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did the Engineer say to the English major? Hey we went to the same school and got different degrees! Cool!

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How do you get a baby to stop crying You kill it

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How did the fat man die? Clogged arteries leading to a heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What does a person say before they die? Whatever their last word is

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What comes to mind when you say the word "Mind?" Your Mind

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How do you find Nemo? Watch the movie.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did one deer say to the other? Nothing. The second deer was killed while they were eating and now the first deer is scarred dot life.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A blond walked into a bar. A guy picked her up and then they had sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why was the woman convicted or arson? She set her house on fire. Why did she set her house on fire? Her husband was beating her.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's funnier than a dead baby? A lot of things. Dead babies are not funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops