Why was johny late to school? He died

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels at the loss of their newborn child.

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I'm so hungry, I could eat an adequately sized meal

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go for a bike ride??

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You're momma's so fat, that I just wanna go over there and make hot passionate love to her. What? I'm a chubby chaser.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Loss of habitat.

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come along children

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? where's my tractor?

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How many pumpkins can you fit in a watch? Depends how much jelly is in the pumpkins

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Q: A black person and a white person decided to have a race, who won? A: The black person, as he exercised and worked out on a regular basis, making him very fast.

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What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

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The little mouse lifted the giant Elephant up so the Elephant could reach the bag of snacks, but then the Elephant said: I cant reach it, you must be tired so lets switch places... Squish: Squish! Elephant: Mouse! Where are you! *looks at "squish" NO! THIS WAS NOT THE WAY THE JOKE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE!!!!!!! Moral: Elephants cant talk...

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how do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Wanna hear a joke the WNBA

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"This is not a drill!" - guy holding a hammer

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Why was Adam sad his dog got ran over? He was holding the dog.

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A priest, a rabbi and a captain are in a sinking ship. The rabbi says let's save the children. The captain says f*ck the children. The priest days do we have time.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was infamous for stealing people's laundry, and 6 was insecure about his bare body

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Banana(s)

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Whoa! A talking carrot!

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A white man, a black man and a muslim walk into a bar. The bar explodes, but the white man is the only one that dies, thanks to reasonable accommodations.

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Of two wrongs don't make a right what do they make? I don't know but three rights make a left

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What's worse than missing your favorite TV show? 9/11.

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Haiku's Are Easy. But Don't Always Make Much Sense. Refrigerator.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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