What's purple and green and has a criminal record including two counts of armed robbery, five counts of possession with intent to sell, one count of attempted murder, several citations for underage drinking, and a parking ticket? Barney, but ignore all that other stuff. His record was expunged.

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How do u know when someone is horny? look at there pants

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Why did the hedgehog cross the road? To return to its nest.

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One day I was walking in the forest when I saw a squirrel get hit by a van. It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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your momma is so old, she has heart problems

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What does Obama and Darth Vader Have in Common? Nothing. Darth Vader is not a real person and thus cannot be compared to the president of the UNited States.

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? cause there are more geese on one side

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"I lost the game." Hahahahahahahahahahahaha in your face

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What does Pontiac stand for - People Of Normal Thinking Intelligence Acting Classy

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How many elephants can you fit in a car? Five. Two in the front, two in the back, and one in the glove compartment.

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jacobs 1inch gets matt. t in 4 seconds

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Why did the guy kill his friends? He didn't, he doesn't have any friends

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Q: What's better than a dead baby? A: Knowing who killed it, because then you can report them to your local authorities, thus creating a safer community.

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YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!!!!!!! why not?

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Why did the black man win the race? Because he was talented and hardworking.

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What did Mambo say to Jumbo? Nothing. Because they weren't friends.

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How many ADD kids dose it take to screw in a light bulb? one; the attention deficit disorder dose not take away the ability too screw in a light bulb.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Cos crossing the road usually doesn't work out too well for chickens.

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Why doesn't stevie wonder play snooker? Because it's not very popular in the US.

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why did the 8 year old want a squirt gun? his parents were on fire

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas. A pool.

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a drink, the bartender says nothing. He was a mute.

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What do you call a cat with no legs and an inverted anus? Nothing, you're to horrified to speak.

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Rebecca Black.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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