Your mom is so fat, she has crippling depression and has tried killing herself three times.

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What do you throw a drowning guitarist? An emergency floatation device.

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your face.

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Why did the man with no arms and legs fall out of the tree? Gravity.

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Knock knock. Who's there? We are members of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints.

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What did the fat man get for his birthday? diabetes

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Friends are like trees, they fall down when hit multiple times with an axe.

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Religion

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Why was the man named Thomas? Because that was his name

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Womens rights.

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So i was walking down the street and this guy was really excited. I said "what is so Exciting?" He said "i just saw Justin bieber kiss a girl."

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Your doorbell is broken.

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Q-What's the difference between me and Chuck Norris? A1- Nothing. We are both humans. A2- Technically, his atomic structure, genes, heritage, blood type, hair color, skin color, muscle tone, eye color, and countless other things. What's more, I am not an actor who revels in fake glory.

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What do you call a young fortune teller who just escaped from jail? A small medium at large.

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dinosours eat beagles and then unicorns eat norwalls then th shiny squarles eat you then unvirse inploads

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Roses are red Violets are blue Today is your birthday So happy birthday

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A man comes home from the office, walks inside and hangs up his coat and hat at the door. He walks into the kitchen to find his wife has not made dinner instead she is drinking with friends, she tells him that she would have made dinner but she didnt want to. Furious, the man storms to the door, grabs his coat and leaves... He gets in his car and drives down to the pub. Sitting there drinking his beer, trying to calm down he finds a peice of paper tucked into his coat pocket, he unfolds it and reads it. It turns out to be a memo he wrote to remind himself at work that day.

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When did the black man go to the pharmacy and why ? His wife , for whom he cared very much , had a cold and he had to get her prescription for her . On top of that , he had a horrible problem problem with painkillers that caused him to have an aneurysm on the way there .

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There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She had so many children her uterus fell out.

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What's funny and arousing? This joke.

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Why did polly fall of her swing ??? She had no arms

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Why did the boy eat his homework? Because he already ate his dog.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, we know you've been pirating movies.

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What type of food was the black guy eating? fruit, he is on a diet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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