Your momma is so fat that the late, great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook her breasts for clocks

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why is 5 afraid of 6? it isnt

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roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, which is a serious mental disorder in which I have difficulty properly experiencing reality. It should not be confused with multiple personality disorder, which is a completely different disease with different symptoms.

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If life gives you melons.. You're just plain retarded.

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What in the world is that thing in her butt!!!

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what are three words that are never used together in the same sentence ...... salid taste good

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3 blonds walk into a bar ouch

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Why did the horse fall over? Because I shot it

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Knock knock! Who's there? It's me, Allison. Oh, come in!

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Indeed.

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What do you call a person with no legs, no arms, no eyes, and no heart? Well he'd be dead wouldn't he?

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(Q)What do you call 4+4? (A) A math problem.

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when does the phrase "time heals all wounds" not apply? to people with fatal wounds.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Obama.

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Why did the cow lay down? Because he was tired

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Knock-Knock "Who's there?" "It's the police. We have a search warrant."

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A depressed gay teenager goes to his boyfriend’s house. Why and what happens? Shaun was often discriminated against for being homosexual. He always tried to be positive and a good person, but when his parents disowned him, Shaun couldn’t help but feel alone and unloved. Upset, Shaun went to his boyfriend’s house to seek comfort from his lover. Sunny, his boyfriend, immediately told Shaun that he loved him and things will get better for both of them. A year later, Shaun rebuilds his relationship with his old family and they apologize for their lack of understanding. Sunny and Shaun are very close emotionally, and wish to get married. However, they live in Texas, where marriage is outlawed. Shaun’s family agrees to help aid the couple financially in their marriage. They help Sunny and Shaun move to New York City where they had a successful gay marriage and pursued their dreams of becoming a video-game character designer/artist and a professional hop-hop dancer, respectively. They adopt their first child two months later and raise their child positively, and adopt her younger sister five months after that. The two daughters love their two dads and grow up to be a successful NASA scientist and a talented singer, respectively. Sunny and Shaun live a long, happy life together filled with love, happy, and joy. They die peacefully in their nineties.

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what did the noob say to the gamer your a gamer nooob

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This joke isnt funny.

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What break when you talk?

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you are so ugly you continuously get made fun of for it everyday and already have a savings account for plastic surgery in the near future.

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Women's Rights

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FOLLOW ME @airvvv

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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