How do you save stop your soulmate from dying of cancer? Shoot them on the head.

Why did the Egyptian woman not manage to work the washing machine? The instructions were in English.

Why is there an owl out during the day? I don't know.

A man walked into a bar. He sat down, had a nice meal and went home relatively satisfied.

what is the meaning of life? i dont know, but im fairly sure its not 42

Q: Whats white and fluffy? A: White fluff

What do you get when you put a baby in a blender New Doritos Dip

So my wife was in the kitchen, and I asked her to make me a sandwich. She agreed. I then volunteered to make her one. Lesbian relationships are amazing.

Why did the clown's ballon animal pop? He was a victim in a drive by shooting.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Teenage pregnancy.

Why didnt Timmy Go to school? He Died.

What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

What's Hitler's favorite drink? Jews (meaning juice)

flashback 2010 bears vs. packers vs. bears- why did'nt the packers want to go to soldier field? because they didnt want to pass another 6 flags!

What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow

Guy 1 : "I like your hat." Guy 2: "That's my hair, you moron."

salad days!

what do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you? run

what do you get when you give a man viagra? A man with an erect penis. Viagra is known to increase blood flow and vascularization in the penis, allowing for erections for people with erectile dysfunction.

Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank

Donald Trump

Whats green and smells like a red apple? A green apple

Q: How do you eat a dead baby? A: One piece at a time.

A neutron walks into a bar. The barman says, "for you, no charge." The neutron replies, "very funny asshole, you're just going to put it on my tab after I pass out."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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