An Irishman, a Jew, an Asian, and a Priest all walk into a bar This is an example of a well-balanced community

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the father leave work early on his son's birthday? He was rushed to the hospital after facing a severe heart attack due to a history of cardiovascular disease in his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what does this mean: qiwiw98373jeu7e nothing significant, just shows the results of a mentaly disable student

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Heard about the dyslexic fellow who sold his soul to Santa? That worked out OK, but Christmas was hell.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's worse that getting raped by a frog? That would never occur, as frogs do not have genitalia to commit rape.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

roses are red violets are blue show me your bed i wanna fuck you oh and roses are red violets are blue nice tits.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Have you ever tried ethiopian food Neither have they

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the boy throw the clock out of the window? Because it was broken.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who let out the chicken?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Once upon a time there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly, everyone died. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know because he got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Two horses were discussing their racing records. The first said, "In my whole life I had won ten races." The second horse says, "Well, I've won twelve of those!" A greyhound trotting by chimes in, "Not bragging guys, but in my career, I've won twenty!" "Unbelievable!" exclaimed both horses. "It's a talking dog!"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

My brother gave my mom AIDS. My mom gave my dad AIDS. My dad gave my dog AIDS. My dog gave me AIDS. I gave my sister AIDS. My sister called the police because of the wild case of AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

An over weight person is diagnosed with anorexia they used to be fatter

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A blonde a red head and burrnett was on a island, heres there diolouge. Red:lets have a breast stroke race. bothe burnett and blonde:ok. The red head gets to the next island 1st and waits 2hrs,then the burnett comes up. Red:what took u so long? Burnett:i got hit by some waves.. they both wait weeks and weeks. the blonde comes . red and burnett: what took u long? Blonde:umm.... YOU GUYS CHEATED!! YOU USED UR HANDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: Billy has 47 pieces of cake, he eats 38. What does he have left? A: Diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walks into a bar with his dog. He orders 14 shots and proceeds to drink. For each shot he takes, he feeds one to his dog, who accepts it willingly. The bartender says "Well I've never seen anything stranger. Why did you order 14 shots, and why are you giving half to your dog." "Well," says the man, "my 14 year old dog was diagnosed with a fatal heart condition. I cannot afford to put him down, so the shots should kill him." The dog then dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? An ambulance.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Bob: I have a funny knock knock joke, but you have to start it. Joe: Ok. Knock Knock. Bob: Who's there? Joe: Uhhhhhhh Bob: Exactly.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man is walking down the beach and he spots an antique looking lamp in the sand, he picks it up and rubs it. Nothing happens and the man begins to cry realizing that his life is so dismal and pathetic he was ready to believe he had found a magic lamp. He proceeds to run into the water and bash himself senseless with a large rock until he passes out and drowns.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what's better than being stabbed in the testicles with a biro? the Silversun Pickup's album Neck of the Woods

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops