Why did nobody bother to help the old lady cross the road? Because her actions in recent years had given rise to considerable division and ill-feeling within the community.

"When there's something srange, in your neighborhood... who you gonna call..?" The cops

What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Eating the apple.

Knock knock who's there Betty Betty who?` ` my grandmother who passed away 2 years ago dont talk about her that was

two kids see a girl naked in the woods They walk away promptly to their homes and tell their mothers.

What did the boy in the wheelchair get for Christmas? A bicycle.

Why did the man wear a mask He had low self-esteem, and was ashamed of his facial appearance

A man and a six year old boy are walking along a path through the woods on a moonless night. "Gee mister, I'm scared!" says the boy. "You're scared?" says the man. "I have to walk back alone!"

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Light turned green, indicating that it was a safe and appropriate time to cross

There's a Mexican and a black guy in a car... Who's driving? The Cop!!!

if you consider his name parents name social security number hospital born date born and nurses signature all on a peice of paper then i guess you consider that his birth certificate

I heard a joke one time about a Rabbi, a Priest, and a little boy. It wasn't funny.

Why did the girls ice cream melt? She was on fire.

Hey, do you wanna hear a joke? A joke.

How many Dead Babies does it take fill a phone booth? There is an obvious epidemic going around causing millions of babies to die. This is no laughing matter and the mothers of these babies are probably going through therapy to get over their lost.

Knock knock. Who's there? The bailiffs, we have come to take your house

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was standing up.

Don't you just hate it when somebody is saying something interesting and they don't finish their sentence?

How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans

why did the elephant fall out of the tree? it was hit by a fridge. why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was sellotaped to the elephant.

Why was the lemon wearing a blue shirt? Because its red shirt was dirty.

One day a kid said to his mom: "Mom, I painted the bed sheets with your lipstick". So his mom got mad.

Every 60 seconds In Africa......... A minute passes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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