roses are red violets suck dick i need a wee

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knock knock who's there i lost my wallet my nan died

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What's black, white and red all over? Nothing, I'm colourblind.

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what?

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Whatsup?! Your grandpas chance of dying.

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What does a pelican and a taxman have in common? Both are bipedal, both are carbon-based lifeforms that procreate by DNA replication, both in all probablility eat fish, both have survival instinct, both require fresh water for hydration, both have five senses; vision, hearing, touch, taste and smell, both are capable of at least limited cognition, and both can turn aggressive when provoked.

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A dog walks into a bar. the owner of the bar didn't allow animal in his bar and he helped the dog outside again

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How long did it take azaha to have a shit? Nine months

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Whats the difference between a red cup and a blue cup. Ones red and the other is blue.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who's there? Alzheimers

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oh no, i've lost my tractor

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why do all good things come to an end? that is one of the mysteries of human existance.

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If I had 10 cents for every time a hobo asked for change i still wouldn't give him any money

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Patient: Doctor, I've been having a problem, I can't remember anything. Doctor: Do you think you might have amnesia, a common memory problem. Patient: What Problem?

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Poem Of Love: Each time i see you i feel like i need you and i love you.. i hope you became my girl and live with me cause without you i can't live.

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmicist.

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Why did the chicken help people across the road all day? Because after past experiences the chicken decided to become a lollypop chicken and help people not make the mistakes he did

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What happened when the young boy farted. It smelled. :)

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Why is Kyle so gay. Nobody knows

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An Irish, an English, a Chinese and a French are together in a boat. And it shows the diversity of our society.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? You. You who? You should be drug out into the street and shot. Whoever you are, I will find you.

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Q: What's Black and White and Red All Over? A: This is a logical fallacy. If something is "Red All Over," it is implied that no other color can be showing. Thus, whatever innate Black and/or Whiteness was formerly attributed to said object will now have been inherently obfuscated by its Redness.

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Pete and repeat were on a boat. Repeat fell off, who was left?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops