What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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I'm wet Ew you perv.. Stop thinking like that ! I just took a shower.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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What did the blonde say to the man when he asked her what time it was? 6:34 pm

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Why did the girl fall She didn't she was eaten by a bear

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream?? He got hit by a truck.

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A woman walks into the living room while her husband is watching tv. The husband tells her "Make me a Sandwich", so she goes to the kitchen and makes him a sandwich like shes told to.

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Q: What's the best way to get a woman to stalk talking? A: Ask them nicely.

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Libyans stage a protest. They get massacred.

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Uh, summa lumma dooma lumma you assuming I'm a human What I gotta do to get it through to you I'm superhuman Innovative and I'm made of rubber, so that anything you say is Ricochet in off a me and it'll glue to you And I'm devastating more than ever demonstrating How to give a motherfuckin' audience a feeling like it's levitating Never fading, and I know that haters are forever waiting For the day that they can say I fell off, they'll be celebrating 'Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated

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why did the chicken cross the road? because the chicken had enough of life and wanted to commit suicide due to recent tragic events such as his cheating wife, his druggie son, his prostitute daughter, losing his home, and getting fired

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Why is 6 scared of 7? Because 7 is right behind 7 and he's naked.

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Pineapples have a smaller volume than the sun

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96

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What do you get when a bulldog and shitzu reproduce? A litter of extremely cute puppies.

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What's the difference between a cat and a banana? Bananas don't scream as much when you peel them.

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Why do people poke people on facebook? Because they have no friends and will die alone

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A Duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'd like to buy some peanuts." The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't sell peanuts." The duck turns around and leaves.

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A father walks in on his kid masturbating to pictures of horses and promptly divorces his wife.

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What did the big chimney say to the smaller chimney? Nothing chimneys don't talk

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What do birds need when they are sick? Most wild animals die when they are sick. However, they can sometimes be nursed back to health with special food and electrolyte solutions in special animal rehabilitation centres.

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girls lacrosse

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You shove her off the bed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops