What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.

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What is worse than having sex with a dead baby in front of it's mother? Not a lot.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? I am.

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An unarmed man robbed a bank today, he failed because he had no way of carrying the cash out.

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Yo momma's so poor, that when she went to the soup kitchen, she got food.

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*knock knock* "who's there?" "me, the person who knocked..duh"

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What is a person who can hold there breath for an hour? Dead

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Why does Nathan Rogers never get any pussy? Because goblins have small dicks

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Milkman! Milkman who? ....Timmy....I've been coming here for FOURTEEN YEARS! AND YOU CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER MY NAME?!?! I drove your mom to the hospital when you were born since your father is such a deadbeat. I helped pick out your name!! I'm sorry I wasn't born into wealth like you. I'm sorry I have to go door to door handing out milk for other people! I have been coming here every week for FOURTEEN YEARS! But no Timmy, no, don't try to remember my name. Just forget about all the laughs we have had. Or that time i left my family on Christmas because your mother needed me to go find you that Turbo man doll. I saved you from a burning vehicle! I helped you win your third grade science fair! Remember? I have a picture of us and that robot right here in my wallet. I show it to people all the time! Here's me and my...my pal Timmy. Well Timmy, this is it. You shan't see me again.

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what did the white singer say to the black rapper? I would like to do a song with you seeing as how we have 2 separate audience types i believe this would prove the song to be successful

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Unless you're paralyzed.

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If life gives you lemons your hallucinating

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What'd the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish, remember?

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A man on crutches walked across the road. Suddenly he fell and sprained his foot. He was pleased that he was carrying crutches.

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A man walks outside on a sunny day. Since the sun was very bright, he put on a pair of sunglasses. While this was going on, nothing else really happened and he went on with his day as usual.

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Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

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You're Adopted.

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knock, knock whos there the police your son was the victim of a cruel homocide

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Nobody enjoys your company. Nobody likes your work. Nobody loves you. There is no person who's name is legitimately nobody.

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Why couldn't little Johnny play sports like the rest of the kids? He was diagnosed with polio at the age of 3 and has limited use of his legs.

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Ask me if I am a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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What do you call two banana's on someone's feet? Garbage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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