Johnny walked up to his teacher one day and asked her to explain to him how babies were made. She instead whispered back to him, "Let me show you". He declined, because he wasn't prepared to be a father.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Interrupting Doctor Interru- You have cancer.

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What was the Latino man doing on my laptop? He was my friend and he had asked me first. He was also ordering a computer on amazon for himself.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

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Bison: I just dont feel like having bread for breakfast again Sagat: You want some... Cornflakes? Bison: Ohohoh Ahahaha! Sagat: You like it? Bison: THIS IS DELICIOUS! Balrog: :( What about those tapes I made for you? You want me to...:( Bison: Balrog, shut up.

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why did the Chinese man fail the driving test because he had no previous driving experience and wasn't prepared for the test

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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charlie sheen losing

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When life throws you knives, you're probably dead

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What do you call a guy with newmonya? Not good at spelling

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What do you call an African American on the moon? An astronaut

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What's funny? At the exact moment you read this, someone is suffering from domestic abuse.

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What is black and blue and really is not in the mood for sex? The new girl at the women's shelter.

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once upon a time there was a boy

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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I hate blackniggers

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What do you call a black man with a PhD and loving family? A nigger

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What goes up and does not come down? Why the hell ask me.

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> Why wasn't the chicken able to cross the road? > Because he had severe autism and was Ambulophobic.

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Where did Susie go in the bombing? Nowhere. Susie is the bomber.

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What's good? Anything that is not bad.

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How many watermelons did the black man have? Too many to count, he was a farmer and his primary crop was watermelons.

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how many babies does it take to paint a barn? depends on how hard you can throw them

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was playing Pokemon Go.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops