Whats the difference between Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber? Lady Gaga has a penis.

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why did the chicken cross the road? dunno. i wasnt there.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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*DRRRRIN* Finally someone uses the doorbell.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Why didn't the black guy where a seat belt? I don't know but he should've because hes dead.

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your mum

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what did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? Were both lawyers!

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why didnt the chicken cross the road? It was getting tired of the jokes

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Roses are grey Violets are gray Tulips are grey Lilly's are grey Dandelions are grey Daisy's are grey Daffodils are grey I am colour blind.

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whats red and looks like a bucket? a red bucket whats blue and looks like a bucket? a red bucket in disguise

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor"

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Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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They see me rollin' Up my sleeve for some volunteer work at the local shelter

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People Order Our Patties

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Goldilocks walks into a bar. But its not really a bar, it's a bear cave and she is eaten by porridge eating bears.

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shut up iggy

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Whats worse than forgetting some thing at the supermarket? your nuts being nail gunned to the wall.

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Why did the blond fail her math test? Because she got all the questions wrong.

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Why did the man not go to church? He was an atheist.

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Ipod to earbuds: "hey buds" earbuds response: "sup player"

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WHAT'S LESS THAN 0? FIONN'S DIGNITY AFTER HENRY'S

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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