What's the difference between a tomato and a rhinoceros? Neither of them can ride a bicycle.

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Maturity is a virtue.

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SINCE YOU ARE OBVIOUSLY READING THIS, IT WILL GET THE MOST LIKES!!!!!

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So a leg, an arm and a head win the Boston marathon. And I'm sitting here masturbating, ...

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Why was the T-Rex so bad at math? Cause it was stupid

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what do you call a black man who is flying a plane? A: a piolt

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What do you call a really small grape? A grape.

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What drink is dark yellow and freshly squeezed from one of the most healthy snacks? Piss.

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Why did god smite the homosex man with all of heavens wrath? For shits and gigs.

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3 men were involved in a terrible plane crash. The first man got up, and all he could see was blue. Blue houses, blue cars, blue people. He walked into a house and asked if he could stay there, the kind people complied and let him stay there for the night. When he woke up he could still only see blue. He went down stairs and ate fruit loops, then left in his blue world. The second man got up and all he could see was red. Red houses, red cars, red people. He walked into a house and asked if he could stay there, the kind people complied and let him stay there for the night. When he woke up he could still only see red. He went down stairs and ate cherrieos, then left in his red world. The last man got up, and all he could see was yellow, yellow cars, yellow houses, and yellow poeple. Yet again he walked to a house, and the kind people let him stay the night. Once he woke up, he only could see yellow still. He went down stairs and ate fruit loops and left into his yellow world. So this proves that 2 out of 3 men prefer fruit loops over cherrieos.

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What isn't funny? The holacost.

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Lethal injection is a lot more humane than the electric chair. I know because nobody's complained about it yet.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Dad: "Happy birthday, son! Let's go get a beer." Timmy: "But dad, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little we've grown. No matter how desperate we are, we hope that someday a better self will emerge, with each flicker of the candles on the cake, we know it's not to be, that for the rest of our sad, wretched pathetic lives, this is who we are to the bitter end. Inevitably, irrevocably; happy birthday? No such thing.” Timmy's mom had just died of cancer a few days ago. A friend walks in the door, not knowing Timmy's mom died just a few short days before his birthday. He screams, "Happy birthday!" TImmy: "Damn. I'm not going through this again."

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Why is Cindy crying? She got a branch stuck in her eye which irritated her sensitive cornea so her tear duct produced a tear to help shed the material from her eye.

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How do Helen keller's parents punish her? They sternly reprimand her for her misdeeds.

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Old guitars sound like cat's guts

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So an irishmen, jewish, and asain walk into the bar...and the bartender said get out..

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What do you call a black man eating fried chicken? By his name, which could be John, considering the popularity of said name.

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What did the cow say to the chicken? Moo.

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i got angry and i was like " i really want to kick someone" ,my friend was on the ground and shes like "you can kick me" ,and i'm like "REALLY" ,then i kicked her really hard and she cried...

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Why did the coconut fall out of the tree? Gravity.

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What happened when the man stuck his hand in the blender? Nothing, it was turned off.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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