what do you call a black pilot? A) a pilot

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If no means yes and yes means no, what is yes? Yes

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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verry nice how mUCH?

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Q: why id the bird fly away from the boy? A: cuz he was scared

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What's the difference between 10 dead babies and a red sports car? A red sports car was never a living organism.

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The police, we have several warrants for your arrest.

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Why is an elephant large, grey and wrinkled? Because if it was small, round and smooth it would be an aspirin.

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I just flew in from Chicago and boy are my legs cramped

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What requires lots of rubbing, dirty pictures, and leaves you happy for a little bit, but then you realize you're sad and lonely? A minimum wage job where you clean pictures.

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why did the baby die because it was diagnosed with lukimia

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how do you kill a blonde? the way you would kill anyone, here are some examples gun knife noose or orange. wait wtf who kills someone with an orange

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what's the difference between a chicken and a grape? They're both purple........ except for the chicken

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How do you drown a blonde? You hold her head underwater for a long time.

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What do you get when you mix a dog with speeding bus? Nothing, you can't mix those two things.

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What's 6 + 9? 15.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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A man walks into a bar. The other one ducks.

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roses are red violets are blue shut the fuck up or ill fuck you

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What's the difference between an apple and an orange? 87

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what did Santa say to the 3 hookers? Merry Christmas!

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What killed the cat? Feline Leukemia

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Knock knock. Who's there? Open the fucking door. Open it! This is a fucking robbery. This is not a fucking joke. Get down on the ground. Shut that baby up. Shut that fucking baby up! Now! Get on the fucking ground or I swear to Christ I will fucking end your life. Tell the kids to go to their room. Do it. Do it, you fucking bitch! Where's the fucking jewelry? You got any money stashed anywhere? Come on, I know it's here. Keys? Your husband got any guns? Give me everything valuable or I swear to god, I will fucking murder you in front of your son. The woman was brutally raped for hours.

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What do you call something with no legs? A Cripple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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