Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: Because of Kevin Spacey's chilling performance.

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Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No.

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A russian gives away vodka.

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A kid walks into a bar. The bartender promptly calls child protective services and the child is placed in a caring foster home.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Little Jimmy was afraid, and didn't like Santa Claus. So one Christmas Eve, he poured rat poison in Santa's milk. Little Jimmy no longer has parents.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Robin, get in the car.

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Eine blonde Frau mit ihrem Sohn in Walmart, da sie die Lebensmittel-und Getränkebereich zu nähern, sehen sie ein mexikanischer Mann Blick in die Eier. Der Mann bittet um Hilfe aus der blonden Frau über die Qualität von Eiern. Sie sagt, ABD Eggs sind die besten, so dass die mexikanischen Kerl entscheidet, dass. Beim Verlassen des kleinen Jungen zeigt auf den Mexikaner Jungs Hut und ruft: "Aliens!" die Mutter bekommt wirklich peinlich und ruft ihren Sohn für sein Verhalten und sagt, es ist nicht richtig. Die Mutter wird erleichtert, dass sie sagen, dass die mexikanischen Kerl konnte nicht hören, da er Musik hören. Auf dem Weg aus der Mutter entdeckt einen violetten Flüssigkeit tropft aus der mexikanischen Jungs Haar. Sie fragt ihn, und er antwortet "Sein das Haargel". Die Blondine und Sohn nickt und setzt auf ihr Leben

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Why do seagulls fly over seas? Because if they flew over bays they'd be called bagels.

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What does A duck smoke? Quack

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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Why didn't the boy buy his mom a gift for Christmas? He was killed by a drunk driver two years ago

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Someone threw birdseed.

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Yor Mama is soooooooooooo fat, when she looked in da mirror... it cracked.

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What do you get when you read a book? More knowledge in your brain.

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The only silverware Frank Lampard will be lifting this year is his mums urn.

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Two rocks are in the playground. Nothing happens, because rocks are not sentient beings and are thus incapable of producing any sort of activity on their own.

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What do Chinese people call Chinese food? Food.

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How do you kill half the population of Mexico? A preemptive nuclear strike.

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SIMPLE EQUATION: John has 32 chocolate bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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A homeless guy walked up to me and said "Any change?", to which I replied, "Nope, your still homeless". We laughed and laughed. The he stabbed me.

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whats worse than 10 dead babies in my garage? 11 dead babies in my garage

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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