A woman walks into a bar. She gets hit on by every guy in the bar. After hours of being hit on she finally has enough and asks the guys to stop. The guys Say "ok im sorry". She leaves.

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I hate it when sentences don't end the way you expect them potato.

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What did Don King do with his new boxers? Put them on with a respectable pair of trousers.

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I see London, I see France, I am in an airplane on my way to Europe.

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whats worse then a baby with out floaties?.......beating your grandma to death with a puppy

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Roses are red, violets are blue. Grass is green.

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Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "That's kind of ambiguous..."

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Q) what do girls like long , soft (can go hard) and has white stuff come out A) Twinkies but if left out of its plastic wrapping for a long period of time it will go hard

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How do you tell if there is an elephant in your refrigerator? Check for footprints in the butter.

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Why did the child step on a ball?

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There was a peice of lasagna. He knew he tasted great. So he constantly feared for his life.

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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Where did Ellen go after the explosion? Everywhere

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If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, how many does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 10 black guys? In this situation, the minority.

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How did the comedian end his show with a bang? He shot 4 people in the audience. It was a horrible sight and the remainder of the people in the audience were scarred for life.

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How do you get a clown to stop smiling? Throw a brick at him.

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Oh my God, my friend just got hit by a truck. Lets go get ice cream

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because it was a rather hot day and his attention was momentarily directed towards something else.

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A moose walks into a corner store and asks the lady where the Mashed potatoes are. The lady working behind the corner says "Down Aisle five..." The moose goes down aisle five and there are no Mashed Potatoes. -Tyler the Creator

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what are you called if your really funny but you not smart? the class clown

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It was just Michael J. Fox's birthday I wonder if he got in trouble for shaking his presents.

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p p p penis. penis's are big and juicy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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