Knock knock Who's there? Rick Rick who? Your wife's boss. I regret to inform you that your wife has sustained a injury on the job and she is in intensive care... I also regret to inform you that your insurance doesn't cover the injury

thumb_up thumb_down -35

How do you get a one armed man to fall out of a tree? Wave.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

what is worse then going to school farlingaye

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Name two things that are stupid and can get stupider. You can't , there's only one a blonde

thumb_up thumb_down -39

An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

thumb_up thumb_down -41

IF UR READING THIS EXPECTING A GOOD JOKE HERE GOES.... WHY DID THE CUP SAY HELLO GET IT ? I DONT

thumb_up thumb_down -41

what do you call a white man surround by a bunch of black men in prison a congraulation ceromony (and gang rape) pppppppppppppppppppeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnniiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiissssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

thumb_up thumb_down -65

What happened when the turtle rolled over on his back? It proceeded to die because it couldnt find a way to roll over. An African tribe then decided to make the recently decised turtle into a delicious soup that lasted him and his family three days.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

How do Chinese people get their names? From their parents.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

One man says to another "Hey you have banana in your ears." The other man replies "I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Q. Why Did The Blond Have The Biggest Boobs In The Third Grade? A. Because She's 21

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Why did Coolio appear in the joke below? He did not, he was not for real at this particular situation... Well It was actually a typo because some douchebag told me Coolio sang that song and I forgot to change the name after finding the truth... Moral: YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What do you call a pig with one eye? A pig.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Why did Doctor Who visit Ancient Greece? Because has a time machine and has that ability

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Q: What did Batman say to get robin into the Batmobile? A: Robin, get in the Batmobile!

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why did Jerry Sandusky go to the shower room? He hadn't showered all week and was beginning to smell.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Dat ass, or dem titties? Your choice.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

I like my women like I like my coffee Without a penis

thumb_up thumb_down +40

A teacher notices one of her students clutching a cat. She asks him why. The boy, tearfully, explains that he heard his father tell his mother that he was going to eat her pussy when the kids left for school. The teacher laughs and, the class being 10-11 years old thereby at an age approaching biological curiosity, decides to mix this in with a sex education video she was planning on showing them a few weeks later. She then phones the boy's parents who come to collect the cat while reassuring the boy that it is in no danger. The cat was popular with the boy's classmates and they would often go to visit him as a result. Many years later, just after the boy started attending university, the cat was put to sleep at the age of 13 due to liver cancer. The boy placed a Facebook post in honour of his feline friend, which was spotted by a former classmate of his in a routine search who happened to be attending the same university. They ended up reacquainting and beginning a sexual relationship, which was how the boy lost his virginity and eventually blossomed into a 37-year marriage resulting in three children.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

How did the blind man eat his soup? With a spoon. Despite no vision, the man could feel the shape of what he was touching.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

How heavy duty are your nachos? No, because babies simply cannot swallow blenders.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What do you call a baby in a blender? The newest Doritos dip.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

roses are red violets are blue i ate a peanut lets go have sex

thumb_up thumb_down +36

An Englishman, an American, and an Australian walk into a bar. They speak English to each other.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops