How do you get a baby out of a blender? Pour it.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What does a paralysed mans legs feel like? We don't know, he is paralysed

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Knock Knock Who's there? The visitor is deaf and therefore does not have the ability to respond.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Whats worse than the holocaust? Being a jew in the Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What did the cripple kid get for Christmas? Cancer. You know what he got the next the next Christmas? Nothing he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

A Jew and a German walk in a bar. they've accepted their peoples past and learned to move on with their lives

thumb_up thumb_down +36

horrible joke I I I I I I I VVV

thumb_up thumb_down +36

69

thumb_up thumb_down +36

24!

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What do Ethiopian children do at night? Starve

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Person 1- your face is a stupid joke Person 2- you're right, because it's not a joke its a face

thumb_up thumb_down +34

twilight

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A man walks into a bar, and says "ow."

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

so there are two muffins. no wait there are three muffins in an oven. actually it was a toaster oven. and they were covered in butter. uuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh cheese on toast anyone?

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's another word for a priest? Rapist

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why was it sad that the kid was playing football? He had no arms and legs and he was the football.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why couldn't the pirate boy see the movie? He was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

what do you call a kid without arms and legs? names

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Kid: Hey,can i have all the answers to this test please. Teacher: What the hell kid im the fricken teacher.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A man met a genie that granted him three wishes. I wish I could fly. The genie gave him a plane ticket. No, I want to really fly for real! The genie put him inside a plane. Okay, I wish I was unable to die then! The genie killed him. Moral: Not every story needs to make a fucking sense.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

why does'nt mexico have an olympic team? because they have a poor economy and have other things to worry about.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

OMG this totally works! Step 1: Hold your breath Step 2: Die

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did one wall say to the other? Walls don't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops