What did the leper say to the prostitute? Hello Prostitute.

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What's black and tasteless? either herpes or a redheads soul

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Why was the fish swimming on the water? Oh wait it's dead

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Why does Snoop Dogg need an umbrella? Fo' Drizzle

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Q:If a lesbian woman is wearing a jean jacket, high heels, camouflage shorts, and sunglasses, what gender is she ? A: Sheep.

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What happened after September 11, 2001? September 12, 2001

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What do you get when you cross a fan with a child? A mess that you now have to clean up.

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What's black and red and can go through time. I don't know but you have cancer and are going to die very soon.

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You just won the game...

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What can't taste with a toung, and it's soul never dies? A shoe

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What do you call a man with no heart? Dead.

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Two guys walk into the woods an saw a naked lady.One guys ran away. When his friend met up with him he ask why did u run away. He siad "my mom said if i a naked lady that i would turn to stone and i felt myself getting hard."

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Do Minnesotans have accents? Oh ya, you betchya.

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Q. How do Italian girls shave their legs? A. They lie down outside and have someone mow them.

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knock knock whose there? my penis.

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What do you do when a blond ask you a question? Answer politely and thank her for her wonderful question.

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What's white and sticky? A sticky polar bear.

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Dory from Finding Nemo: "Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy- Hey, I just met you."

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how big is a midgets dick? i dont know but probably bigger then mine

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Woman: If you were my husband, I've give you poisoned wine. Winston Churchill: Madame, if you were my wife, I would hope we could have enough love to attempt marriage counseling so as to work out these issues.

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Knock knock Whos there? No one, your wife was just in a fatal car accident and died on the scene, so your kids had to walk home from school instead of being picked up. Your son was captured by a sexual predator, and your daughter tried to run from them, and now she's under the wheels of the bus going round and round.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A bad decision because soccer is in their blood

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if a cat is mean and a dogs a bitch then what do u call your wife? A MEAN ASS BITCH

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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