Why does Santa go down your chimney? Because he is to retarded to use the door.

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Q-How do you kill an elephant? A- An elephant gun Q- How do you kill a blue elephant? A- A blue elephant gun Q- How do you kill a red elephant? A- Strangle it until it turns blue then use a blue elephant gune Q- How do you kill a purple elephant?

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I little 3 year old girl said to her dog "You're my best friend in the whole world" AND THEN THE DOG DIED!

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why?

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What did the black cat say to the tabby cat?? Meow

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Women Voting

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What did the boy say to his dad when he realized he was gay? Dad, I'm gay.

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A guy walks in to a bar and says "ow"

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why'd the women leave the kitchen? her chain broke

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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Your mother called last night. She wants her recipe back.

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What did the Ocean say to the Sky? Nothing, it just waved.

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Why was the man crying He wasnt his allergies were acting up.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says .... Hey, you shouldn't be in here; you're a big and powerful animal and any sudden movement could be dangerous for anyone around you. You have sharp hooves and we don't carry anything ergonomically designed for you to actually drink out of ... so, it's probably best that you just go ahead and get out of here. The irishman at the bar says to the bartender: Why are you talking to a horse as if it can understand you? They do not understand the spoken word and do not have the vocal chords to reply.

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What do you call a man with no legs and arms hanging on your wall? Art

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Vagina ass.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple...

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Whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? the black baby is black

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MICHAEL

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whats worse than the Holocaust....6 million Jews

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What's worse than finding twelve dead babies nailed to a tree? One living baby nailed to twelve trees.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2qg6AkhIYVs

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Why did Mary fall of the tire swing? Because she's a dumbass

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Your mother is so old that her prom theme was fire

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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