Knock Knock? Who's there? Look in the peephole

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hiya im writing this coz im drunk and ktieally slumped over the keyobard i feel relaly sick man and i dunno why i;lm teling you this, coz i should reallyt nbe om nrd ny noe. goodnight antijokers

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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Why did Helen Keller cross the road? To end her misery.

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Q;what do you call a fish with two knees and personally HANDS out JOBS A: a blowfish

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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Why did the elephant cross the road? It's an elephant. Who's going to stop it?

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Yo momma eats healthy, exercises regularly and is likely in decent physical condition.

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what's the difference between people and horses? people have two less legs.

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What percentage of her brain does Sarah Palin use? 100%. That humans use only 10 or 30% of their brains is a myth.

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man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasnt that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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A man walks into a bar... and recieves a concusion and short-term memory loss

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Knock knock Come In.......

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Knock Knock *no answer* Knock Knock *Genevieve enters the house with curiosity and is later charged with Breaking and Entering*

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Why did the chicken cross the road? How did the chicken get out of the henhouse?

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-What do you call the brown spots in your yard? -Dog shit.

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A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a drink from the bartender. The bartender gets it for him and says "Here you go." The man then says "Thank you." The man then starts to drink his drink, and appreciates the fine quality of the drink. Afterwards, he finishes the drink, and decides to leave the bar and go home.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Chuck Norris' cheese

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's blind. Also, she's been dead for 43 years.

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What's up? A direction...

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nine...eleven

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What do you call a drunk irishman? A cab.

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Do you have a curfew? No its saturday!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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