How do you stop a fire breathing dragon from breathing fire? Shove a hose down its throat.

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And now, A cow pretending to be a man: Jeff: Alan, are you a cow? Alan: What?! No! Cow: Yah me neither you guys want to go skatebords? *Awkward*

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How do you punish Helen Keller? By grounding her.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? "Poker Face"

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whats worse than having your bike stolen? Getting raped

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How do you spell Mississippi with out an i? You can't because removing an i from the word Mississippi would cause it to be spelled incorrectly.

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sdrawkcab ekoj siht tleps I whether you like it or not

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why would you thank the KKK because they killed the president

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A catholic priest held a puppet show at a kindergarten. The children were a very polite audience and the event was considered a great success.

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How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I would think one would be sufficient, though political affiliation shouldn't have anything to do with the situation. Unless the lightbulb was residing in a specified meeting place for members of the Republican party. Also, if the building was a more public institution for gatherings, which could imply larger ceilings, then two might be needed, just for safety precautions.

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How long did it take for Michael to screw in the lightbulb? 37 minutes. Michael has cerebral palsy.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No. Ask me if I'm a bush. Are you a bush? No.

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Why did the man fall over? he had a stroke.

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What do you call a black man riding a bike? Alan. He's studying environmental engineering at NYU.

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What do you call 200 black men jumping from a plane? Night

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What has 4 eyes but can't see? A blind man wearing glasses.

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A man has aids. He has plenty of sexual partners and they all contract the disease.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Every 60 seconds in Africa, a Minute passes.

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What did the dog say to the cat? Nothing, animals can't talk.

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my mom raped yerr foot

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What's after 9/11? 9/12

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Roses are red Violets are blue In Soviet Russia They had communism

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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