Jared Gough is a slut

thumb_up thumb_down +11

This is Jeff and I gots to take a HUGE SHIT. I bet its gonna be smelly and runny. After I wipe I'm gonna lick it and taste it. I bet it tastes GOOD. I hope it has a lil blood in it too.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: What do you call a plane with no wings? A: An unfinished plane.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Get your coat, I've got a knife.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Question: How many rocks does it take to make a pancake? Answer: Tree.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A blonde read the newspaper the other day and she saw "Sarah Piplin-laid by 5000 men" She reported it to the owner of the company as I felt it was not appropriate for a family newspaper. The person at the other end of the line asked the blonde, "are you blonde?" "Yes, how do you know?" she replied. "Because it says Sahara Pipeline, you idiot!"

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A Psychologist said that I am a pessimist... Figures.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he was angry and frustrated with the people in his life, and the ringing clock was the first thing he noticed in his depressed rage.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did your mum have sex with my mum? Because they're lesbian.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

A Black man and an Asian man are at a bar. They have a few drinks and then leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you get an elephant in pajamas? Elephants are large mammals with several layers of body fat, and pajamas are for humans. there is no purpose in attempting this feat at all.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what is the difference between oral sex and anal sex? one has to deal with a butt

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did little Bobby put a firecracker in the dog's ass? Don't worry, he used lube.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man walks into a bar. He has a drink. Then goes back home.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's funnier than somebody spitting in someone else's food? It's not even funny, it's just plain rude and disgusting.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was being herded into a slaughter house to be killed, then packaged and shipped out to restaurant venders all across the country.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How its supposed to go: Knock knock Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mopwho? How my friend Cassidy did it: Knock knock Who's there? I eat my poo! Oh wait I screwed up.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's worse than hearing another Holocaust anti-joke? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Whats worse than the holocaust? Finding an apple in your worm.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Teacher- "Sally Sue, a sentence that starts with I, please."\ Sally Sue- "I is..." Teacher- "no, no, Sally Sue, when you start with I, you must follow it with am." Sally Sue- "I am the 9th letter of the alphebet."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is black and hangs from the tree in my back yard? a moldy apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did Sally drink water? Because she wanted to take pills and kill herself.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why didn't the black man brush his teeth today? Because he was already too late for work.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops