How is a white orphan like a black baby? Neither are sure who their parents are :(

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What do you call a pig sizzling in a pan? BACON!

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What's so sad about a bus with mentally handicapped children driving off a cliff? There was one empty seat.

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Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 raped and murdered 8.

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What's brown and sticky? Shit.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have five fingers and one of then is poking at you

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do you like fishsticks? yes they are quite delicious

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Whats lemon scented and you shouldn't drink? Bleach

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Friend: I hope you burn in hell -.- Me: I hope you step on a leggo in the dark Friend: *gasp* take that back

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, The middle one's for you!

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms or legs. Knock knock Who's there? Not Sally

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Women's football

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My wife and I have been married for ten years. She is a great care-taker and I couldn't be more happy. Then she asked me to make her a sandwich, I went to the kitchen and into the knife drawer...well I think you can guess what happened after that. I cut the meats, and I made her a sandwich.

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Why was the baby upset? Because it accidentally killed its twin brother by pushing it off the bed.

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Q: is this the krusty krab? A: No this is patrick!

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2 guys walk on the street and see a pile of crap. One says "That looks like crap." The other one stops and looks at it for a few seconds and says "You're right it is crap." They both avoided stepping on the pile of crap and continued on their walk.

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a redheaded man walks into a bar. he is wanted for raping and murdering 13 children

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Black Veil Brides.

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The Treatment of Steve Bartman

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Twisty Snake bite: Doctors office. Patient: Err Doc, a snake bit me in the err, private area... Doctor: I must suck out the poison immediately! Patient: What? Man! Are you sick? How do I even know if the snake was poisonous? Besides they only do that crap in bad jokes! Doctor: Yeah but this is an anti joke so drop em! Later at home: Wife: So did the Doctor help you dear? Patient: Worst doctor ever, he really sucked!

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito (from the Spanish or Portuguese word for little fly) is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat). Mosquitoes resemble crane flies (family Tipulidae) and chironomid flies (family Chironomidae), with which they are sometimes confused by the casual observer. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapiens (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans.

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Why din't the boy get a Christmas present? Because his dad go hit by a bus.

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what did the black guy get for christmas? a car because he really wanted one.

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Why do reindeer pull Santa's Sleigh? Because Santa won't feed them if they don't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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