Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because it had no arms. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it had no legs. Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree? Because its not suppost to be in the tree. Why did susy fall off her bike? Because she was hit by 2 monkeys and a refrigerator!

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A man walks into the local grocery store on his way to work. He stops by the pastry section to buy a bagel. As he is paying, the cashier says "and here's some blueberries, they're complimentary." The man looks at the blueberries expectantly. When they don't say anything he looks up, feeling foolish, pays for his bagel and heads off to work as a partner in a lawyer firm.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? KFC was closed.

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why didnt you take a shower? because my house burnt down

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Whats worse than being hit by a bus and dying? Being hit by a bus and listening to Justin Beiber in a hospital bed.

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What do you call a helicopter above Hawaii? A helicopter.

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Why did the man have no head? He did it was under his shirt

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what happend to the ghost? he dissapeared! :)

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Whats worse than 10 dead babies In a tub 10 and 1/2

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Hickory Dickory Dock mother is a whore

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Christopher Reeve walks into a bar.

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How do you put 100 babys in a bucket? A blender

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Whats worse than getting knocked up? Finding out your Mother is a drugy living on the side of the road and your Dad is an acholic who diesnt care about you and realizes you might turn out the same way.

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Q:what do you call a black guy with a gun A:racial equality in our nations armed forces

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Poop

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what do u call a girl with cancer? bald.

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Knock knock Who's there Ummmm....me u r looking right at me O yeah Ummm... Now what U knocked? No. O Ye Ok Alright cya

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A guy is taking a pee in the ocean and a fish swims up and drinks the pee. The fish says "thanks for the lemonade."

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he had more fat than average, so he was very buoyant

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What did the hooker get for christmas? Herpes

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven threatened to kill him and his family.

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Why is Alan in the hospital? Because he got cancer.

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What did the baby with Downs syndrome say to the baby with cancer? Nothing, baby's can't talk

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen snort? Enough to kill 3 and a half men.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops