Joe Paterno doesn't walk into a police station..

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Moves Like AJgger- Marron 5

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What do the pope and an orange have in common? They're both fruits. Except for the pope.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud.

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A man walks into a bar, it looked like it hurt.

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Why couldn't Carys answer the phone? - She had an ear infection.

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Why did Nigel decide to lie and remain on the ground? He didn't. Somebody beat him ruthlessly and stole his wheelchair. Nigel has no legs by the way.

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What's worse than ten dead babies? Not much.

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Ask me if I am a cat. Are you a cat? No, what kind of stupid question is that?

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Hi

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A man walking on a beach looks into the surf and sees a beautiful oil lamp floating to shore. Wondering who in the heck uses oil lamps anymore, he picks it up, sees a bit of crust on the side, and rubs it clean. Just then a burst of smoke comes out of the lamp, and a genie floats out and stands before the man. "Oh master, thank you for releasing me from the lamp. In thanks, I grant to you one wish. Anything you ask for, it will be true," said the genie. "One wish? What happened to three," asked the man. "Dude, don't push it. We're in a recession. So what's your wish?" "OK. OK. I ... I... I WISH I WAS RICH!" screamed the man. The genie folded his arms, blinked twice, scratched his nose, nodded his head, and spun in a circle twice. "And it is SO!" he cried out. The man looked at himself, looked at the genie, but nothing seemed to have changed. "WTF, genie. Am I rich?" The genie replied, "Well no. You said, 'I wish I was rich.' I made you rich... ten years ago. You were rich. Now you're not. You used the indicative mood 'was.' If you wanted it to become true now in the present, you should have used the subjunctive mood 'were.'"

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April showers bring may flowers, may flowers bring pilgrims, pilgrims bring diseases, diseases bring death, death brings... Well it's just death.

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How do you get rid of a stalker? You throw a fridge at them!

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Q) You know how I know your gay A) Cuz your gay

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What do you call a black man who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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A lamp of light That shines so bright Except when it is night A glow up high You wonder why It moves across the sky. What am I? A blogger who posts jokes on AntiJoke.com.

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The iguana is the only mammal capable of photosynthesis.

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Baking a cake can be very hard and stressful, just like beating a slut with an axe.

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one day a grape was in the sun raisin

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he had already looked both ways and there was no traffic.

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What does the Cookie Monster eat? Nothing. The Cookie Monster is not a living, sentient being and does not require sustenance to live.

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"I had the worst day ever!" "Was it worse than 9/11?"

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roses are white, violets are black, You should probably consult with an eye doctor, for you probably have severe color blindness.

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Roses are red violets are blue i heart my toilet Becuase it holds all my POO!!!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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