What did one wardrobe say to another wardrobe? Clothes.

What time do you go to the dentist? Depends on the appointment.

Why did the girl kill herself? Because she was brutally raped

Roses are Red, Violets are Violet, Not Blue, Kill yourself.

Elizabeth Warren

Someone made a Titanic joke to me today, It was just plane wrong.

Wife says to husband, who works is programmer, "Honey get out of bed there is a bug in the bed". Husband says "ok."

So 2 apples are having sex, and one apple sais to the other, I got worms.

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

what's a fish with no eyes and out of water? its just a fish

What's worse than rape? Gang rape.

Justin Bieber

What do you call a girl who disappears on the 3 May 2007? Madeleine McCann

Q.why did the woman die A.she left the refrigerator door open then left the kitchen

What do you call a blonde with a Doctorate in Physics? Doctor (Dr).

why did simran go to jessicas house? To go have a human taco

Knock knock Who's there? April April who? April fools

Me: Have you ever eaten Ethiopian food? You: No. Me: Neither have they.

And so i say to the preist ........... pass the bananas

What's the difference between an ice cream cone and a pile of dead babies? I don't cum on the ice cream before I eat it.

Roses are red Violets are blue Polytetrafluoroethylene is a synthetic fluoropolymer of tetrafluoroethylene that has numerous applications

all hail based mark

What's black, white and re(a)d all over ? A penguin in a blender.

IF YOU ARE A GUY: Think about a really hot girl. She has the perfect chest, amazing face, blonde hair, and looks flat out stunning. She takes off her shirt which is very appealing and causes for you to get excited because you might get lucky. She takes off her pants, or skirt depending on the choice that you decided upon when imagining this girl, and is walking towards you in nothing but a bra and panties. She continues to take off her bra and gets on top of you. You passionately kiss and afterwords she whispers in your ear, "are you ready for some of this?" you nod your head and she proceeds to remove her panties. Let's freeze this situation for a moment. Assuming that you would ever be in a situation like that there has to be a catch right? A hidden camera, her husband comes home, a rabbid zombie crashes through the door...something. I am happy to tell you that there are no worries about this because nothing will stop you from making sweet and beautiful love to this woman. So let's get back to the scenario. You not your head and quickly tear off your clothes and begin exploring her body. Now turn her 64 and give her a penis with an amazing amount of pubic hair, make her fat, and submit to this manlady. You ask how this happened? Earlier that evening you took a particularly large amound of LSD, or acid if you prefer, and began tripping out. You began seeing ugly people as hot people, and hot people as ugly people. Your friends were concerned because you were hitting on a tree and started humping it at which you were removed from the party by your date who just so happened to be a fat and ugly hermaphrodite who repeatedly raped you and made you cry in submition to her kinky tactics. Drugs are bad, but they make for interesting stories for your friends to tell their children when they get older at your expense.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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