What has feet but cannot walk? What has a beak but cannot peck? What has wings but cannot fly? A dead bird.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's

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Q.What do you call a black man flying a plane? A. A black pilot you racist bastard

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Your mama's so fat.

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What is the meaning of Life, the Universe, and Everything in it? I'm not sure at rhe moment, but it will take aproximately seven and a half million years of thinking for me to find out.

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I AM SOFA KING WE TOD HEAD - AV

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A: Hey ask me if Im a fire truck? B: Are you a Fire Truck? A: No why would you ask that?

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You wanna hear a joke about my penis Nevermind, it would be inappropriate of me to say such a thing.

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why did the homeless man buy a mansion? he didn't. i lied. he would need a job to be able to buy a mansion.

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What did the man with cancer do? Die

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what do you call a tall skiny kid with a very big ego autistic.........colby schluter.

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yo mama is so fat she is 1 candy bar away from dieing

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why is john so fat years of over eating

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knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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What happened when the kid tried to hang himself? He was overweight, so the ceiling fan that the rope was tied to fell out of the ceiling. When he explained this to his drunk mother when she got home, she reinforced the fact that he was overweight (his low self esteem was the root of his depression) and beat him. The next day, he just chugged antifreeze. This isn't a true story. Just calm down.

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Knock knock Who's there? A penguin A penguin who? Just kidding, a penguin could never survive in this climate, I'm mark and was wondering if I could give you an estimate on some new siding

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What's the difference between a wife and a chef? A chef has the choice to leave the kitchen.

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why did the lady fall on the ground? The cord for the parachute was cut by her husband

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Find the M: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

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If life gives you lemons ask where they came from.

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I am not Moral Man. Moral: FUUUUUUUUUUUU

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1Q: Quick! Ask me if I'm a lemon!! 2A: Your not a lemon 1A: :/ oh :/

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What do you call 200 black people dead in the ocean? It's a start.

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...IIITS... :) SMILEY :( AND MADDY THE HORSEHEAD SHOW ITS :) SMILEY :( AND MADDY THE HORSEHEAD SHOW! :) YAY! :(SHADDAP YUUU! Episode one... The waiting for the wait!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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