What's the difference between a tomato and a rhinoceros? Neither of them can ride a bicycle.

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what has 2 eyes but can't see... an asian

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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knock knock whos there the game _______I LOST THE GAME_______

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Why did the plane crash? -Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Q: Why did Sally fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Q: Why did the girl fall off the swing? R: Because she had no arms.

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knock! knock! whos there? doctor doctor who? no Doctor Brown, you have cancer

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What do you call a comedian who can;t make people laugh? A bad comedian.

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Why was the first name of the boy 'Price'? His parents were Hamsters.

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why'd the baby cross the road it was stapled to the chicken

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Did you hear about the black guy who got into college? Actually, there are nearly 10,00 African Americans who get accepted into college every year. This specific black male is notable because of his stellar grades and his activity in his community.

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What happened when the man rubbed the magical lamp? Nothing.

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Why did the blonde have the biggest tits in 3rd grade? She's 21

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the the wheels.

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Not an anti-joke, but an anti-pick-up-line: How much does a polar bear weight? Not as much as you!

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are due to transportation issues. (What if there are no replacement light bulbs in the house, and the nearest store was 10 miles away? It would be ridiculous to expect someone to walk twenty miles to replace a light bulb) In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

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How do you get a blonde to break a nail? Smash her finger with a wrench.

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Why was Sally crying She got a high five In the face With a chair

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What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Unless you're paralyzed.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names

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Don't you hate it when your reading a sentence and it doesn't end how you testicles.

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the man the invented it doesnt want it, the man that wants it doesnt need it, and the man the needs it doesnt know it....what is it? a coffin.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, its because your wearing a suit and on the front door it says no people in suits are allowed." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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