A blonde walks into a store and tells the clerk "I'd like to buy that microwave". The clerk says "we don't sell things to blondes.". The blonde comes in the shop the next day with a brown wig on and says "I'd like to buy that microwave". The clerk says "we don't sell things to blondes". The blonde asks how he knew she was a blonde. The clerk replies, "I can see flyaway strands of your hair from the top of your wig and the synthetic hair material of the wig is not convincing.

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"You know what my motto in life is?" "No" "Oh, that's a shame."

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Strawberries!

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Why do migrant birds fly to the south? Because they can't get there on foot.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to see its chicks that got run over by a car.

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what did the pregnant black woman say to the white man I'm pregnant

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a registered sex offender.

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What's the difference between gays and straights? Sexual orientation

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Whats big brown and sticky A sappy oak tree

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What happened when the boys visited Penn State? They got toured around campus and decided that it would be their future college.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Less than you cuz your fat.

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How did the magician make it look like there are 2 books on the table? By putting 2 books on the table

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What do you call a middle-aged man at a preschool? A teacher.

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This one time at band camp... I played an instrument and learned to march with the rest of my school's band.

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An Englishman, and Irishman, and a Scottsman walk into a bar and the bartender says, "Is this some kind of a joke?"

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Your social life.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It's coop was faulty and thus it escaped.

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You know what's funny? A bucket full of dead babies. Do you know what's funnier? The last one is still alive and crying.

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A large man goes into a restaurant and places his order The waiter asks if he would like the weight watchers menu He says no because he doesnt care about his weight

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Spread the net.

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why didnt the chicken cross the road? It was getting tired of the jokes

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Sticks and stones may break my bones... and my pistol will kill you.

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If E = cos[(6x+8) + 5x!] + tan(90-X)^2, and x = 137/43, what is E? The fifth letter of the alphabet.

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops