Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted. You're adopt...wait what?

why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress

A duck walks into a bar. Animal control is promptly called and the duck is released into a nearby park.

"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Well judging by the fact that there's no actual door in between us I'm pretty sure you can decide who it is.." "'Well judging by the fact that there's no actual door in between us I'm pretty sure you can decide who it is' who?"

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

What is funny about a child with down syndrome? Nothing.

In Soviet Russia, millions of innocents died due to the oppression.

Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob Bob What What the hell are you doing here

If John has 50 candy bars and eats 45, how many does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

Let's see how many dislikes this can get!

"Want to hear a joke? Tough."

A child rides by his mother on his bicycle and says "Look Mom, no hands!" The child doesn't come back, and night falls but he has yet to come home. His mother calls the police and a search begins 2 days later. He is never found is presumed dead.

Wanna here a joke? Feminism.

Q: What time do you see a Chinese dentist? A: Never because China has a flawed healthcare system due to overpopulation. It is a sad and sobering reality of the plight of the Chinese citizens.

If there's a clown in a blender, how do you get him out? Tostitos.

What did the gay man say to the deaf man? I don't know, I can't hear.

What did one child say to the other child? We both are kids.

whats worse than getting the girl you're talking to taken from you? getting the girl you like taken from you.. by a asian.

Who would win in a fight between a polar bear and a tiger? Considering that they live in different habitats, the chances are very unlikely that they would ever interact.

Roses are brown, Violets are brown, Stop shitting in my garden

(insert command here) Oh yeah, well I want world peace.

Why was the man late for work? Because he slept in.

You’re so dumb that many individuals find your intelligence inferior.

How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? 17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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