I TOOK A STEAMING SHIT ON YOUR MOM

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What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? A dog

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Do you know what is dead on the carpet ? Your mother

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Chinese drivers.

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Cashier: Have a nice day sir! Grumpy man: Don't tell me what kind of day to have ya fruit!

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What do you call a snake with no arms? Normal. What do you call an amphibian with no arms? A caecilian. What do you call a girl with no arms? A poor, poor soul that is unfortunate enough to have had an amputation when young. Now, she can't go in public without being stared at. She can't catch herself when she trips. She can't ride a bike, bake cookies for her family, or be a NASA astronaut like she always dreamed. She is the normal ASDF Movie character.

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What did the carrot say when it was thrown out of an airplane? Nothing. It's a carrot.

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What is worse than spending time with in-laws? Nothing.

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why are black people good at jumping and white people aren't? That's stereotyping people .... anyone can be good jumping as long as the practice.

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What did the pet lion say to its owner? Nothing. The lion then proceeded to hunt down its owner, pin him down and rip out his insides. Besides, the likelyhood of owning a lion as a pet is very slim, and even if one did, this act would be highly illegal in most parts of the world.

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What kind of coins to you find at the bottom of the ocean? Wet coins.

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Ask me if I am a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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A duck walks into a bar.... Animal control is swiftly called and the duck is relocated to a nearby park.

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A family of aristocrats walks into a talent agency and shows their performance. The talent agent asks: "How do you call yourselves?" They say: "The Aristocrats", "because that's what we are; Aristocrats."

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Alcatraz is reopened only for Kevin's ma

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Why'd the boy fall off his bike? The holocaust

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A man walks into a bar. He then meets some friends and has a rather enjoyable night.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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A Panda walks into a bar and orders a drink, he then shoots the bartender and leaves. The people are shocked and the panda is arrested.

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Where do black jews go? The back of the oven

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Yo mama so fat, she farts dust

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Hello

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Women's rights

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Why did the chicken eat fried chicken? Because fried chicken is so good! Kelvin Yang.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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