Why did the guy not pet the dog? He was allergic.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Q:Why did the man fall down the stair I don't know? A:Because he wasn't careful

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what's worse than a dead baby in the bathtub? if the baby was named Grace.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A boy found a nickel on the street. So he went to the ice cream shop and bought a gumball with the nickel.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the man not go to church? He was an atheist.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What was Hellen Keller's Dog's name? Kamikaze Go, it was the first Akita Dog in the United States.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: What kind of bees make milk? A: Boobees

thumb_up thumb_down -9

In the movie Dark Skies, little white boys were haunted by a mysterious force. The answer is obvious, isn't it? They are being haunted by Michael Jackson's ghost.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Did you hear about the new pirate movie? It was rated PG-13.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

I Used to be an Adventurer like you, Then I retired to achieve the top Anti-Joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What happens when you click a link on a web page offering sex? You get a virus.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Did you hear about the blind carpenter who picked up his hammer and saw? Did you hear about the deaf shepherd who gathered his flock and heard (herd)? If you don't understand these, use your dictionary and look up the words "blind," "deaf," "saw," "heard" and "herd." http://gpsphone-tracker.com/

thumb_up thumb_down -9

GONNA

thumb_up thumb_down -9

The WNBA.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A Man walks in to a bar and orders a pint of lager, he notices something floating on the top of his drink so he calls over the bartender. "Excuse me, I think there's something in my dr-" The man's sentence was cut short as a man with a gun had just walked into the bar. He killed everyone, there were no survivors.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

a dinosaur with a large clown hat is walking down the street when he is confronted by an obese monkey human with red hair. I set this up for a good pun, but the one i have is potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are red Violets are blue Elephants cant jump Neither can amputees

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Lisa’ house needed to be painted and her brother offered to do it for her. Lisa thought it was a nice gesture and told him that she wanted the house in antique white. However; after painting the house, Lisa noticed that her brother had used a color with a dark yellow tone. ”Are you sure this is Antique white?” she asked him. ”Offcourse!” he said. Afraid of hurting his feelings, Lisa didn’t dare to say anything. Ten years later, the house needed to be painted again. This time Lisa wanted to hire a professional painter, but her brother insisted on doing for her. He brought the paint, which Lisa recognized as the same yellow paint, with a color that Lisa had really begun to hate. ”Brother, are you sure this is antique white?” she asked, forcing a seriousness in her voice. ”Offcourse!” he answered, and Lisa was still too embarressed to object. Her brother didn’t have an easy life and she didn’t want to break his confidence. So the house was painted, same as before. Lisa did however notice a strange light in her brothers eyes. Another ten years passed, and the house needed to be painted a third time. This time however Lisa had had enough. Though it was her brother, she had become increasingly ashamed of her house had even stopped having guests over. With a deep breath she picked up the phone and called up her brother, ready to confront him. A woman answered; it was his wife. She could hardly speak because of her sobbing. Unfortunately Lisa’s brother had been killed in a car accident earlier that day.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

BBC have a new porn channel. C Boobies...

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A girl dropped her pencil while sitting next to her bf... She glanced at his phone while he was texting a message that said "I love you"... The girl jumped up and called him every name she could think of and left the room... The message was to his mother! She didn't listen and left him... He killed himself because she left him... She killed herself because he killed himself... Moral of the story: Don't drop you pencil!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what do you call a dead black man? dead

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Have You Ever Seen Stevie Wonder's New House? No.. Neither Has He.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why was the boy sitting alone? Because all his friends died.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops