What does a blond see when she looks at a dog? A four legged mammal, refered to as canis lupus familiaris, or what is commonly known as a dog.

So joe diragi walks out of a gay bar...

What did the man do when he was tired Nothing he went to bed

Write Your Own It's easy to take part, just type your text below!

there are two kinds of people in this world: those who like anit jokes and those who don't

I walked into a bar the other day and ordered a double. The bartender brought out a guy who looked just like me.

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Simple poke her face.

HEY YOU!!! just checking for assholes

[Insert Stereotypical Joke, And Insert Logical Answer Here] Anti - Anti-Joke

A cup of ranch walks into a lemon

So a man enters a local paper's pun contest. He enters ten puns in hopes that one of them would win. But unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

What do you call a person with an arrow in their head? Dead

What is Kanye West's main goal in life? To crush the hopes and dreams of singing stars on national television, beginning with Taylor Swift.

Why did the Jew wear a beanie while playing soccer? Because he shaved his head

Q: What's the deal with air line food? A: An airline meal or in-flight meal is a meal served to passengers on board a commercial airliner. These meals are prepared by airline catering services. The first kitchens preparing meals in-flight were established by United Airlines in 1936. These meals vary widely in quality and quantity across different airline companies and classes of travel. They range from a simple beverage in short-haul economy class to a seven-course gourmet meal in long-haul first class.

Why did the little boy cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken

My bologna has a first name It's O-S-C-A-R... My bologna has a second name It's M-A-Y-E-R... Oscar and Mayer were the names of the pig and the cow that were slaughtered and subsequently processed into the bologna I am eating.

What did the Catholic Priest say to Chris Hanson? Nothing. He attempted to flea, and was quickly taken down by law enforcement. He was then detained and processed and charged with Intent to commit statutory rape with a minor under the age of 14. He's still awaiting trial.

Why couldn't sally go on the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock Who's there Sally

What happened to the short kid on april 30th: His girlfriend broke up with him

Okay, So a Cow, a Lumberjack and a Fireman walk into a bar. The cow asks the bartender, "What kind of milk do you have?" The bartender looks confused and asks," Why would a cow want milk?" The cow replies,"I've been producing milk all my life and I've never had a chance to try it. I'd just like some milk." The bartender replies,"Okay we have whole milk, 2%, and skim milk. What'll you have?" The cow says,"Whole milk, I want the whole deal." The bartender obliges. Next the Lumberjack comes up to the bar. The bartender asks, "What'll you have?" The lumberjack asks for some syrup. The bartender inquiries,"What kind of syrup would you like?" The lumberjack answers,"Pure Maple, imitation, or chocolate. All work for me." The bartender turns and pours a shot of pure maple syrup and turns away. Finally the fireman walks up the the bartender and says, "Can I have a glass of water?" The bartender turn and ask inquisitively,"Why?" The fireman quickly replies,"TO PUT OUT THE FIRE!"...

How many penises is one metric butt-load. Oh God I hope you don't know the answer.

The white supremisist woman with anxiety dialed the suicied help hot line. The operator that answered was clearly African-American. She then hung up the phone and continued to call back and try again.

Mcfly: Doc! i have to tell you about the future! Doc: Ok.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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