you'r mom is so fat that whenever she goes to the doctors, they are concerned about her cholesterol levels and high blood pressure.

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neil patrick harris

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A conversation between friends ( or some what.) Joe: I'm thinking about going out of state for college ... Rick: your mom went to college! Joe: yes she did Rick that's why shes a docker and my families rich.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? 2 holocausts

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? My cheese

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The Pope

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Why did the man fall off the cliff? I pushed him????????

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Q: what weighs 6 ounces sits in a tree and is very deadly? A: a sparrow with a machine gun

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Curiosity killed the cat and was sentenced to prison for animal abuse.

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Why can't Abraham Lincoln lie? Because he is dead.

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why was the boy's face burnt? a horrible accident involving a lighter and some hairspray

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What did the cow say to his friend? Moo.

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Knock Knock Who's There? The Police The Police Who? Uhm, Ma'am your son just died in a car wreck

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Knock Knock whose there? child abuse...

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People say it's easy to make fun of retarded people. But it's really not. You always have to explain it to them.

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Why couldn't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because he didn't have any arms or legs. Why didn't he have any arms or legs? Because Jimmy was a Potato.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have clamidia Because Polly shat on me.

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What are we then hypocrites?

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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Yo mama so fat, that when she wore a blue swimsuit to the beach and swam, the Blue Whales started sing, "WE ARE FAAMILY...EVEN THOUGH UR BUGGER THAN ME!!!"

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what do you get when a bear and a man mix a really pissed off bear and a dead man

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Person 1: You know whats funny? Person 2: No! What? Person 1: A joke!

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How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? none, you can't see them in the dark. V

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a black guy a chinese guy a jewish guy and a gay guy are standing on a ledge. they are all ready to jump off and commit suicide. suddenly a basketball falls from the sky. the black guy is like oh shit that my bball. he cant resist, he jumps off the ledge, grabs the ball, spins in mid air, and shoots it through the window that they came out of. then he falls to his death. the other three guys are questioning whether they wanna actually kill themselves when all of a sudden a jiggly dildo flies past. the gay guy sees it, and he needs it in his butthole. he jumps off, grabs the dildo, shoves it in his ass, and falls to his death. the chinese and the jew are the last alive. they decide that they dont want to die and they start crawling back towards the window. then out of nowhere, two quarters and a nickel shoot up from the ground, right in front of them. the jew needs them. he jumps off the ledge and pockets the change. then he falls to his death. the chinese guy is the last one alive. he jumps off and falls to his death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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