A leper sees that a woman has dropped a bag of groceries on the sidewalk. "Hey ma'am, can I give you a HAND?" asks the leper. "No thank you, sir. I can manage." replies the woman. "That's a relief," laughs the leper, shyly. "I am quite weak due to leprocy."

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the bear turn red? Because I fucking stabbed it!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: Why was the boy sad? A: An Elephant was sitting on his face

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar together. They discuss the fundamentals and aspects of Religion.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's better than winning a million dollars? Winning 2 million dollars!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the fat man say to everyone? Hey everyone! I am i fat man!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats worse than a dumpster full of dead babies? A landfill full of dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do you stop a bus? You try to wave down the bus driver, they're usually nice people who will stop for you if you put in some effort and act appreciative.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why couldn't the color blind orphan find his apple? Because he was also blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

johnny goes to the shops asks the lady at the counter, can i go home The Lady says ..... Buy one get one free

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A mormon walks into a bar. The Bartender says "What can I get you" The Mormon says "Sparkling Water please. In my religion we don't drink alcohol."

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call a black woman that's blind and has 1 leg? Handicapped

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the lawyer say to the other lawyer? We're both lawyers.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call a cat with 1 eye, 4 legs, and its tongue out? Road kill.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Nock Nock Whose there? Your mom. Stop locking your door.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

knock knock who's there? A worm, your dead in a coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man walks into a bar............. The bar explodes and everyone dies

thumb_up thumb_down +16

how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Person 1: Why can't a T-Rex clap? Person 2: BECAUSE THEIR ARMS ARE TOO SMALL! Person 1: No, because they are extinct dumbass

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's the difference between a tree and a lamp? One is a tree, one is a lamp.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q: Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? A: Because he had bladder control problems and feared he may ruin the first pair.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man and wife were having a vacation when suddenly the man falls to the floor and starts having a seizure. The woman screams "Oh my God, is there a doctor in the house?!" Then a doctor appears and helps the man with the appropriate method of handling a seizure. The doctor says everything is going to be okay.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was the pizza mad? Because he was going thorough a growth spurt and the testosterone got to him.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops