Your Mother's breasts sag with such severity that the late, great surrealist artist Salvador Dali mistook them for clocks.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ouch!" Later that day, the man's daughter takes him to the doctor because he's acting strangely. The doctor gives him an MRI and the daughter is told that her father sustained severe brain damage from the injury. Now the daughter has to juggle taking care of her father, taking care of a child she bore from a drunken one-night stand, and recovering from her meth addiction at a rehab facility, all while making minimum wage at her dead end job. Eventually she hangs herself, leaving her father and child to slowly die on their own.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

GONNA

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Gun Control

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Rigo your a stupid ass

thumb_up thumb_down +1

QUIT PUSHING DAD GUMMIT!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

There are 100 men enjoying a cruise to celebrate an important contract going through at their place of employment. The boat then suffers a major malfunction and tragically sinks to the bottom of the ocean, miles from any land masses. Not a single man died, how is this possible? They all used the lifeboats supplied on the boat and followed the standard procedure to deal with such a crisis.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper painted red.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Are you from Tennessee? Cause my uncle grew up there and I was wondering if you knew him.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

You wanna know something that's totally out of this world? The moon.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Your Moma so fat, she would roll down a hill.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Jimmy said he would never beat his wife, so why did he do it anyway? Because he was a hypocrite.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 452

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it's goal was to get to the other side however unfortunately a giant gorilla picked up a car; threw it at a nearby building causing it to collapse; setting off a massive explosion causing all of the buildings on that side of the street to collapse. As the whole other side of the street was covered in rubble making it impossible for the chicken to get to the other side, so the chicken decided to turn around and go home.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

1.Roses Are Gray, Violets Are Gray. I Am A Dog. Can I Eat Your Leg? 2.What Did The Sandwiches Say To The Grilled Cheese? Nothing. Sandwiches Can't Talk Due to The Lack Of Organs.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

kyle dosnt question his sexuality

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Steve is 12. He has a friend named Gary. Later in his life steve will realize that he is gay and will fall for a man also named Gary. Gary and steve will be together forever. Until steves friend gary goes insane because this man has stollen his name and go and kill the other gary. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Dad, they tell me I am a slowpoke at school, what can I do? ... Eh son, this is mommy, your dad died ten years ago remember?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

wanna no wats not funny........ aids

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the woman do when her husband told her to make him a sandwich? She made him a sandwich promptly.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why can't you fly? Cause Ruddell says so.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

you: knock knock person: who's there you: interrupting cow person: interrupting cow you:MOOOOOOOOO

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why didn't the boy come out of the closet? He had no legs.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A bear walks into a bakerey. He aks for a loaf of bread. The bakers asks: "White or brown?" The bear answers: "It doesn't matter, I'm on the motorcycle".

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops