a man walked into a bar....

Why is limety snicket a kike pussy? cuz will ferrell shit in his asshole

Knock Knock Who's there? Probably

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

A black man and a mexican are in a car, who's driving? Nobody, the car is parked while they look at a map for directions because doing that while you are driving would be very dangerous and could result in a collision.

What happened to the guy that got hit by a bus? He got hit by a bus and died.

what do you call a starfish living 500 miles under the sea? A starfish.

what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: Wheres my tractor?

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he was mauled by a tiger.

VAGINA.

What's worse than shoveling dead babies??? Using a pitchfork...

Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is to sparsely populated and not economically viable.

If you give a mouse a cookie... you're destroying their natural diet.

There are two cows standing in a wide, green field eating hay. The first cow says: "Moo". The second cows says: "Thats funny, I was about to say that."

Q: What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? A: A funeral.

Why did the guy die? He had a fatal heart attack.

Whys the Elephant afraid of the mouse? i dont know im not an Zoologist

Why did the Muslim enter the bar? He didn't.

Why did Paul Walker cross the road? He wasn't wearing his seatbelt.

Why is 6 afraid of 7? 7 was having illicit sexual relationships with 9, of which 6 knew about, but was afraid to inform his wife, 8, who 7 stepped over to get to 9.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? -death -kidney failure -gall stones -getting in an automobile accident -getting struck by lightning -getting sodomized -embezzlement -deception -HIV/AIDS -illness of any nature -world hunger -the holocaust -Zimbabwe's economy -getting hit by a train -getting hit by a bus -the hives -getting bit by an alligator -head injuries -being arrested -childhood obesity -sexual predators -highly impoverished areas -losing a finger -getting hit with a bat -corruption -general rudeness -being lost in the woods -contracting a sexually transmitted virus -teen pregnancy -murder -rape -robbery -going blind -losing a child -falling down a well -bestiality -identity fraud -massacres -racism -genocide -mental disabilities in children -bullying -food poisoning -stepping on a nail -eugenics -the mass murder, rape, and theft of the land from the Native people of America -forced assimilation -slavery -brain deteriorating illness -matricide -prostitution - accidentally repeating yourself -prostitution -domestic violence -animal cruelty -pollution -deforestation -global warming -losing your life savings -still birth -oppressive leaders -physical conflicts -world wars and other military conflict -the situation in Rwanda -Inequality in treatment of women in middle eastern countries -auto theft -tax evasion -terrorism -being diagnosed with cancer -clinical depression -prostitution -finding two worms in your apple

You have Aids. April fools! you have super Aids.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms

CRY

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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