A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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whats brown and sticky? a sweaty mexican

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Students, please find the surface integral.

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Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. Faces like yours belong in the Zoo. Don't be mad I will be there too. Not in the gate but laughing at you.

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A. Why did the chicken cross the road? B. Why? A. To get to the other side. A. Knock, Knock. B. Who's there? A. The chicken.

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A bartender walks into the man and the bar said nothing because it was inanimate.

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When you cross a bird on the sidewalk what do you do??? Run in big circles.

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If Jimmy has $5, and he finds $20 on the street, how much money does Jim have? None. He was mugged by a black man.

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How do you get a boy out of bed, you cut off his fingers.

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How do you tell the difference between a bomb and an Asian? One blows up.

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A horse walks into a bar, realizes that he shouldnt be here so he walks out.

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What do you get when you add a cucumber some vinegar some salt and you get..... Macaroni and cheese

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Whats worse a black person or a white person I feel like all races are equa,l therefore, there is no correct answer

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My friend died by getting shot in the head. But he respawned back at his checkpoint.

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Knock Knock DAMMIT WOMAN MAKE ME A SAMMACH

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What's the difference between a black man and a bag of crap? Quite a bit. The black man is a human male of the Kingdom Animalia, while the bag is an inanimate object. The only similarity between them would be that they both contain organic matter.

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What's cold, limp, approximately 65 pounds, and being dragged out of that pool with no safety fence over there? Not important, lets go get some Wendy's man.

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how did the man die he didnt

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Why are birds purple? because it fits the sky why are bats purple? bats aren't purple

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How do you confuse Hellen Keller? You write a really difficult riddle in braille and tell her to solve it.

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What's cooler than living on the sun? Everything, because the sun is the hottest entity in the entire universe. Plus, who'd want to live on the sun?

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a tomato.

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What happened when 7 8 9? Six was afraid! HAHAHaha....ha.... wait, no. I told that wrong....

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how many jews can you fit into a car 5, two in the front three in the back

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops